Tag: Philosophy

A Product Of One’s Era

I stared for half a day once at an old man sitting on a bench in Arrakeen. He was a fifth-generation descendant of Stilgar the Naib and did not even know it. I studied the angle of his neck, the skin flaps below his chin, the cracked lips and moistness about his nostrils, the pores behind his ears, the wisps of gray hair which crept from beneath the hood of his antique stillsuit. Not once did he detect that he was being watched. Hah! Stilgar would have known it in a second or two. But this old man was just waiting for someone who never came. He got up finally and tottered off. He was very stiff after all of that sitting. I knew I would never see him in the flesh again. He was that near death and his water was sure to be wasted. Well, that no longer mattered.

Frank Herbert, “God Emperor of Dune”, chapter 5

It’s not uncommon to hear our grandparents1 talk about the “olden days”, and how we kids “have it easy!”. Chances are, you probably heard this too. As we get older, we start doing it too!

But sometimes I think about this quote from Herbert’s “God Emperor of Dune”. The planet Arrakis was once a harsh, forbidding desert planet where water was extremely scarce, and its Fremen people lived on the edge of survival. And yet, when Leto II Atreides the God Emperor ascended to power, he transformed the planet into a tropical paradise. Insodoing, the Fremen became softer generation after generation, forgetting their hard-learned survival skills.

Yet, I don’t mean this as a judgment. Instead, I think people are unwittingly products of their surroundings. At birth we don’t choose our parents, our native language, or which country, ethnicity, or “caste” we are born into. We are simply thrust into some circumstances outside our control, and even if we reject them, it still shapes who we are.

Further, as society moves from times of war (or pandemic), to times of peace, people change in response. Then, if war breaks out again, they change again. During times of prosperity, people behave one way, but in times of scarcity, they change again. It’s not that one generation is somehow better than another: they just respond to different conditions.

So, sometimes, I think about what forces have shaped myself up until now: my family’s political leanings, the socio-economic circumstances, and why these might have shaped my own personal biases. Even now, as I watch my kids grow up and leave the nest, I can already see generational differences with them, shaped by technology, world events, changes in social attitudes and so on. My grandchildren’s grandchildren will be even more different.

This is neither bad nor good, it’s just how things work.

P.S. Double-post today!

1 Including the dinner table … happy Thanksgiving!

Confronting a Suffering World

More than any other year in recent history, it seems like 2025 is a year where we are suffering more than before. It is frustrating to watch all this unfold, frustrating to know that even when you try to help, it feels like it makes no difference, and frustrating to see no light at the end of the tunnel. I feel a combination of denial, passivity, frustration, anger, despair, and everything in between, over and over.

IVANOVA: Damn it, John, there’s always too many of them and not enough of us. What am I supposed to do?

SHERIDAN: Fight them without becoming them.

Babylon 5, “Dust to Dust”, s3:ep06

But I’ve also been thinking about this a lot, and I realized that the forces of History are always in motion, even if we don’t see them. It can take years, or in some cases decades to see the bigger picture.

Claude from Fire Emblem: Three Houses saying “…but even while you’re standing still, the world keeps on moving. I always find that oddly comforting.”

But also, the little things we are doing here and now still matter. What happens to others who are suffering affects us, even if we are not consciously aware of it.

G’KAR: If we deny the other, we deny ourselves and we will cease to exist.

Babylon 5, “Point of No Return”, s3:ep9

Even those whom we oppose are suffering, even if we do not comprehend it:

If both sides are dead, no one will care which side deserves the blame. It no longer matters who started it, G’Kar. It only matters who is suffering.

Babylon 5, “Dust to Dust”, s3:ep6

So, simply standing back and letting history unfold isn’t enough. On the other hand it is just not possible to save the whole world. Even if I gave away everything I have here and now, it would be a drop in the bucket.

Instead, each one of us needs to find one small thing that we can dedicate ourselves to, for the good of others. In a Pure Land Buddhist text, The Larger Sutra of Immeasurable Life, the Buddha Amitabha started as a king, then a bodhisattva, and through tireless efforts over eons transformed his realm into the Pure Land through countless good acts, accumulated merit, and so on. This process was glacial, but it came to fruition nonetheless.

In the same way, each one of us when we dedicate ourselves to a cause, however small, it feels glacial. Nothing changes. But change does happen. As with the forces of History, things do unfold, but our actions help shift the currents of the “river of History” ever so little.

But even so, not every one will see this and understand. In the immense Buddhist tome, the Avatamsaka Sutra (a.k.a. the “Flower Garland Sutra”), is a famous quote:

On seeing a bodhisattva
Perform various practices,
Some give rise to a good mind and others a mind of evil,
But the bodhisattva embraces them all.

Original translation from the Collected Works of Shinran, courtesy of the Jōdo Shinshū Hongwanji-ha

This is the Mahayana Buddhist in a nutshell.

Namu Shakamuni Butsu

Namu Amida Butsu

P.S. Thanks to a bug in my blogging app I posted two posts at the same time last week. Apologies for any confusion.

Also, I am still resting a little from burnout, so no blog schedule for now. I wanted to at least finish some mostly-complete drafts for now.

The Dynamic Duo of Zen and Pure Land

A few months ago, I made this post about how the Obaku Zen sect interprets Amida Buddha and the Pure Land. To my surprise, I keep reflecting on this phrase from time to time, almost like a Zen koan:

This mind is the Pure Land,
this body is Amida Buddha

This idea of merging Zen and Pure Land ideas is somewhat rare in Japanese Buddhism, but it’s surprisingly common in Chinese-Buddhist thought. Originally, I thought it was limited to later Ming-Dynasty Buddhism (which Obaku descends from), but similar strands of thought exist much further back.

A famous Chinese monk named Yongming Yanshou (永明延壽. 904 – 976) once wrote a poem titled the “Four Alternatives” (sì liào jiǎn 四料揀):1

Lacking both Chan and the Pure Land, it will be the iron beds and bronze pillars [of hell] for ten thousand kalpas [eons] and a thousand lives with no one to turn to.

Having Chan but lacking the Pure Land, nine out of ten will stray from the path; when the realm of the aggregates appears before them, they will instantly follow it.

Lacking Chan but having the Pure Land, ten thousand out of ten thousand who practice it will go [to rebirth]. Having seen Amitābha, why worry that one might not attain enlightenment?

Having both Chan and Pure Land, one is like a tiger with horns [i.e., doubly capable]. Such a person will be a teacher in the present life, and a buddha or patriarch in future lives.

translation by Charles B. Jones, “Chinese Pure Land Buddhism, Understanding a Tradition of Practice”, pg 210

Yongming is advocating a supportive model where both Zen practice and Pure Land practice work in concert. The Pure Land path is the “safer” path to follow, due to the vows of Amida Buddha, but if supported by Zen practice here and now, one is really making progress on the Buddhist path.

Further, a later writer named Yunqi Zhuhong2 (雲棲袾宏, 1535 – 1615) explained that these things were not mutually exclusive (Chinese added by me):3

To contemplate the Buddha (nianfo 念佛) is to contemplate the mind (nian-xin 念心). Birth there (in the Pure Land) does not entail birth away from here. Mind, Buddha, and sentient beings are all of one substance; the middle stream (non-duality) does not abide on the two banks (this world and the Pure Land).

Similarly, Ouyi Zhixu (蕅益智旭, 1599 – 1655) in his excellent work “Mind Seal of Buddhas” makes a similar argument: Zen and Pure Land practice are the same thing, just operating at different levels. You’re not forced to chose one or the other in your practice.

But such ideas aren’t limited to medieval Chinese-Buddhist monks. You can find such sentiments in Pure Land sutras themselves! In the Immeasurable Life Sutra is this passage (emphasis added):

“In this world, you should extensively plant roots of virtue, be benevolent, give generously, abstain from breaking the precepts, be patient and diligent, teach people with sincerity and wisdom, do virtuous deeds, and practice good. If you strictly observe the precepts of abstinence with upright thought and mindfulness even for a day and a night, the merit acquired will surpass that of practicing good in the land of Amitāyus [a.k.a. the Pure Land] for a hundred years. The reason is that in that buddha land of effortless spontaneity all the inhabitants do good without committing even a hair’s breadth of evil. If in this world you do good for ten days and nights, the merit acquired will surpass that of practicing good in the buddha lands of other directions for a thousand years.

Translation by Rev. Hisao Inagaki

In this passage, the Buddha is clearly advocating both bending your efforts toward rebirth in the Pure Land, but also making the most of the time you have here to undergo traditional Buddhist practices too because even a modest effort here is a great benefit in the future (both for yourself and others).

As I often tell my kids: “go nuts”!4

What I mean is: recite the nembutsu, meditate, uphold the precepts, or some combination thereof. You have nowhere to go but up.

But what if you can’t decide or don’t have the time?

In my opinion, start with the nembutsu. Begin just as you are, and recite it just 10 times daily. From there, add the Five Precepts when you are ready, and once you have that foundation, and are ready to branch out, then look into Zen practices. This make take months or even years. Take your time, go slow, and don’t be afraid to explore.

When I talk about the flexibility of Tendai Buddhism in Japan as well, this is what I am alluding to: start with something simple and small at first (such as a devotional practice), and gradually building upon it as you gain confidence and see the positive transformation in your life. Buddhism is kind of a SLOW, gradual religion, but like a glacier, once it starts moving, it has a wonderful momentum all its own even if you can’t see it.

Namu Shakumuni Butsu
Namu Amida Butsu

P.S. Featured blog image is another famous “Dynamic Duo”: Batman and Robin from the 1960’s series.

P.P.S. Posting kind of off-schedule just because it is fun. 😊

1 I found this on Wikipedia actually and I thought to myself “wow, this person quoted exactly the same way that I would do!”, then I realized that I had put this on Wikipedia a few years ago. 🤦🏼‍♂️

2 Pronounced like “yoon-chee joo-hong”.

3 Again, I managed to pull a quote from Wikipedia that I had unwittingly added years ago and then promptly forgot.

4 My kids ask me if they can watch TV, play Switch or whatever, and my frequent answer is “go nuts” [go crazy, have fun].

The Art of Dying

One thing that really annoys me as a long-time Buddhist is the tendency for self-help and spritual seminars to cost so much money. I saw this advertised locally in my area for weeks, and the starting price for a seat is $250 for a backrow seat, which to me is totally bonkers.

The Dharma, as taught by Shakyamuni Buddha was freely given, and required nothing.

Having said that, as a counter to pricey spiritual seminars, I wanted to promote a concept: the Art of Dying.

DYING?!

It is a simple concept: you are going to die. You cannot necessarily choose the hour or manner of your death. But it will occur inevitably occur.

You do not have to take my word for it. Here’s a Buddhist sutra (freely given I might add) from the words of the Buddha:

There is no bargaining with Mortality & his mighty horde.

Whoever lives thus ardently, relentlessly both day & night, has truly had an auspicious day:

So says the Peaceful Sage [Shakyamuni Buddha].

MN 131, translation by Ven. Thanissaro Bhikkhu

The Lotus Sutra, a later Buddhist text but in my opinion the capstone of the Buddhist canon, describes this using the famous Parable of the Burning House in the third chapter. You can find Dr Burton Watson’s translation here (again, for free!).

But, to summarize the Parable, the Buddha Shakyamuni asks us, the reader, to imagine a great, big mansion that’s old, rickey, and so on. Then, imagine the house is burning. Deep inside, some kids are playing in a room, unaware the house is on fire. The father, having just returned from a trip, sees his kids in danger and calls out to them to leave the house at once. The kids, engrossed in their games, fail to see their situation. Finally, the father offers them great rewards if they leave (specifically carts of goods), and the kids finally come out.

The father, Shakyamuni Buddha, has left the burning house and stands outside. He calls to those in danger, namely the “kids”, to see their peril and to come out too.

What about the burning house itself? That is the world we live in, with strife, conflict, disease, chaos, aging, and death.

The late Thich Nhat Hanh wrote about this too:

“Imagine two hens about to be slaughtered, but they do not know it. One hen says to the other, “The rice is much tastier than the corn. The corn is slightly off.” She is talking about relative joy. She does not realize that the real joy of this moment is the joy of not being slaughtered, the joy of being alive.”

Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching

This gets to the heart of the Buddha’s teachings: do not squander the time you have on this Earth. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life and your loved ones, but remember: Death will not wait for it to be convenient for you.

When you hear this, your instinct might be the “live, laugh, and love”, indulge in all the fun things in life before it’s too late. But that’s not what the Buddha intended. When you look back at the Parable of the Burning House, the father wasn’t asking the kids to play more, he was telling them to get out before it’s too late.

Further, in the Mahayana tradition, one can get themselves out of the burning house, but helping and guide others to get out of the burning house is even better. One can call such people bodhisattvas.

But you can’t help others (let alone yourself) until you :

  • Recognize the situation
  • Put down your own toys and find the way out before you can help others.

This is part of the progression of the Buddhist path: get your foundations in order, increasing confidence in the Dharma (which you can see in your own life), and turning outward to help other beings.

But starting at the beginning, how does one establish a foundation?

Everyone is different, but generally it starts with some simple things:

  1. Taking the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha as one’s chosen refuge (you can do this by yourself or in a community). You can setup a small shrine too.
  2. Taking up an ethical life, such as undertaking the Five Precepts
    • If all five are too hard, start with one, and work your way up over the months and years.
  3. Cultivate metta:
    • Say to yourself (yes, you): May I be well, may I be free from harm.
    • Now think of loved ones: may they be well, may they be free from harm.
    • Now think of all living beings (even the awful ones): may they be well, may they be free from harm.
  4. Setup a reasonable daily practice. Think of it like exercise or stretching: if you start too aggressively, you’ll injure yourself and set yourself back. So start small, and build up.
    • What does a daily practice look like? Some examples here.
    • A small meditation practice can be beneficial too, but intention matters.
    • Study the sutras. Not self-help books, but the sutras. Commentaries on the sutras, such as those provided by Thich Nhat Hanh are quite good and easy to find in used and independent bookstores such as Powell’s City of Books.
    • Find worthy teachers and communities, not slick, overpriced seminars or cults. Caveat emptor.
  5. Give yourself permission to screw up, then reflect on it, and move on.
  6. Repeat. Buddhism is a long-term practice. “Play the long game“, but also remember you are on the clock. Time is short.

So, that’s your free teaching for today. Thanks for attending this seminar. Want to support the blog? Pay it forward or something. This is “Buddhism on a Budget”, and I strongly feel this is how Buddhism should be.

Namu Shakyamuni Butsu
Namu Amida Butsu
Namu Kanzeon Bosatsu

P.S. apparently this also a band with this name. As fellow PNW residents, I salute them.

Reality Bites

From Star Trek episode “Spectre of the Gun” (s3:ep6)

One Zen anecdote that I remember from my youth, was a story where a student declared to his master “all is illusion”. The master, listening to this whacked the student on the head (or pinched his nose, I forget) and said “was that an illusion?”.

I always liked this anecdote, but didn’t really appreciate until I got older and had more field-experience with Buddhism.

There’s a tendency to view Buddhism as a way to transcend one’s problems. People like to meditate in Buddhism, or do chanting, because they think it will “chill them out” or go into “Zen mode” as a way of facing life’s problems. Once you’re blissed out and calm, you’ll not be bothered by problems anymore, and all will be well. Right?

….. well, Buddhism doesn’t work that way.

Sooner or later, you have to come down and still deal with problems in life: work, food, jerks, illness, boredom, bills, political crises, economic hardships, debt, injustice, broken cars, crying kids, angry spouses, dogs with “intestinal issues”, getting older, loneliness, house chores, the inevitable death of everyone you know, back problems, and so on. The list goes on and on. It does not go away, no matter how much you want it to.

In short, reality bites.

Once you come to grips with this, which also happens to be the First Noble Truth of Buddhism, then the rest starts to fall into place. Until then, no chanting, meditation, prayer, seminars, self-help exercises, fancy gurus, or books will do any good. Not because you’re stupid, or unworthy, or not disciplined enough; it’s because you can’t put the cart before the horse. 🛒🐴

Namu Shakamuni Butsu

What Do You Believe In?

G’KAR: What do you believe in?

NA’TOTH: Myself, Ambassador.

G’KAR: Too easy an answer. We all believe in something… greater than ourselves. Even if it’s just the blind forces of chance.

NA’TOTH: Chance favours the warrior.

Babylon 5, “By Any Means Necessary” (s1ep12)

I have been re-watching the classic science-fiction series, Babylon 5, and I found this neat dialogue between two of the Narn characters. G’Kar is a devout follower of the Narn religion, while his attaché Na’Toth is not.

G’Kar makes a good point: everyone believes in something. Even an atheist believes in something: science and reason instead of faith. Even someone who is agnostic believes in a higher power even if they can’t define it for themselves. Or people believe in chance, or the natural world or whatever. All of these are beliefs.

But then, I wonder: is belief (even Buddhist belief) just an extension of oneself? Is it a way to make sense of the world outside ourselves?

By the way, I think there’s nothing wrong with having beliefs (Buddhist or otherwise), but I think one’s beliefs are a good indicator of one’s inner fears and anxieties. Two people might sincerely believe in the God of the Bible, but each one emphasizes something different, or interprets God differently. So, how much of this is real, and how much is this just a projection of oneself onto the world?

So, then back to the top of the post: what do you believe in, and what does it say about you? 😏 You can learn a lot just by exploring this question.

Namu Shakamuni Butsu

P.S. Featured photo is “best buddies” Londo and G’kar from Babylon 5. RIP Andreas Katsulas (G’kar).

P.P.S. If you remember Mr Morden from Babylon 5, and his question “what do you want?”, that too is very instructive.

Prejudice

M’BENGA: Prejudice has kept people from helping each other for centuries with no scientific justification. And after we met our neighbours in the galaxy, we found new bigotries….In any case, they’re meaningless to me. I am a physician. 

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, “Ghost of Illyria” (s1ep3), Stardate 1224.3

Prejudice is something far more insidious than simple racism, and something we all face on some level. We discriminate based on all kinds of criteria: race, ethnicity, religion, gender, politics, sports teams, departments at work, etc. If someone is somehow different, we are inclined to see them as an outsider. It’s subtle and tough to resist without conscious effort.

My personal belief is that prejudice is born from some kind primitive instinct of self-preservation, by making discerning choices with only limited information. Sometimes this might keep us alive, other times, it causes hostility and animosity.

But I am not the only one who seems to think this way…

But I digress.

In the famous Star Trek episode “Arena”, Kirk is compelled to fight a Gorn to the death in single combat:

The episode emphasizes how repulsive and cruel the reptilian Gorn are, and yet at the end when Kirk finally defeats the Gorn, he spares its life. This earns him the respect of the Metrons, the highly-advanced aliens who instigated the duel.

METRON: By sparing your helpless enemy who surely would have destroyed you, you demonstrated the advanced trait of mercy, something we hardly expected…. There is hope for you. Perhaps in several thousand years, your people and mine shall meet to reach an agreement. You are still half savage, but there is hope. We will contact you when we are ready.

Star Trek, “Arena” (s1ep18), Stardate 3045.6

The Metrons knew that violence and hatred were primitive and hardly distinguish a species, but mercy and goodwill do. It requires thought and mental discipline to override one’s basic instincts, but it is almost always the right choice.

Namu Shakamuni Butsu

P.S. The Gorn play a much more prominent role in Strange New Worlds than original Star Trek … with mixed results.

Everybody Wants to Rule the World

MCCOY: What he’s saying, Spock, is that a man who holds that much power, even with the best intentions, just can’t resist the urge to play God.

Star Trek, “Patterns of Force” (s2ep21), Stardate 2534.0

Since the beginning of time, powerful men have risen and then fallen. Doesn’t matter which culture, or which time period, sooner or later someone wants to be the Alpha, King of Kings, Pharoah, Shogun, President for Life, etc etc. It happens over and over again, and more often than not they self-destruct or their legacy crumbles after their death.

Take the case of Marcus Licinius Crassus, better known in history as simply “Crassus”. Crassus was absurdly rich. His wealth, and the political influence he bought with it, would make many hotshot-CEO’s today look like chumps.

And yet, Crassus died in 53 BCE with molten gold poured down his throat by Parthian warriors. His hated rival, Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus (“Pompey”) was murdered on the beaches of Egypt a few years later. And of course the final member of this “gang of three”, Julius Caesar, didn’t last much longer.

We can look at examples and think to ourselves “what fools!”, but I think an even bigger lesson from this is that it can happen to any of us given the right circumstances. When we have power and authority, it is almost inevitable that we start to play god. In the Star Trek episode “Patterns of Force”, a historian tampered with an alien planet and (inadvertently) turned them into space Nazis.

The Ring of Power from J.R.R, Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings series illustrates this. Any person who gets a hold of the Ring, whether they be wizards, kings or elf-lords or even just hobbits, inevitably become corrupted.

Even Galadriel, one of the last of the mighty Noldor Elves on Middle-Earth and among the wisest of the elf-lords, was briefly tempted when Frodo offered her the ring, asking him if he wanted her to be a queen “terrible and fair”. Yet unlike her kin, she was able to resist and avoided a more terrible fate.

I feel I would be tempted too. This week I am filling in for my boss who’s on vacation, and even with this small dose of authority, I feel tempted to throw my weight around. How much more so if I was a world leader.

Why are we prone to this behavior?

I suspect it’s simply ego: our desire to mold the world in our own image. Even if we believe we are doing the right thing for others, our own ego blinds us to realities on the ground. If I had such power, I would probably fall into the same trap. People with strong egos are even more blind because they want so badly to project themselves onto the world while choosing to ignore the suffering it causes.

Of course someone has to be in charge. There has to be some form of authority for societies (or offices) to function. But it has to be treated as a radioactive, hot potato: something to be handled very carefully.

Anyhow, rambling thoughts here from the “Ozymandius” of my workplace.

Something fun to end this post though (direct link).

Enjoy!

Revisiting the Five Hindrances

SPOCK: If there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live in them.

Star Trek, “This Side of Paradise”, stardate 3417.7

The Five Hindrances in Buddhism was something I briefly touched on in the past, and something I think about from time to time, but then I ran into this neat excerpt by the Chinese Tiantai (Tendai) founder, Zhi-yi:

The practitioner is like a person who has gained freedom from a debt or one who has been cured of a serious disease, like a starving man arriving in a prosperous country, or like one who has been rescued safe and unharmed from a band of villains. When he eliminates these five hindrances, his mind becomes calm and secure and he feels clear, cool, and blissful.

Just as with the sun and moon which may be obscured and prevented from shining brightly by the five phenomena of smoke, dust, clouds, fog and the hand of the asura known as Rāhu, so it is as well with the human mind and the five “covering” hindrances.

The Essentials for Practicing Calming-and-Insight & Dhyana Meditation by Zhiyi, translated by Kalavinka Press, page 75

I really like this quote for a few reasons.

First the benefits of self-discipline, and personal conduct are like getting out of debt. By not committing harmful actions towards others (and by extension yourself), you are no incurring further debt. Because you are no longer incurring debt any existing “karmic debt” run its course, your personal purgatory that much shorter. It bring a kind of freedom, even if it seems counterintuitive.

長からむん心も知らず黒髪の乱れてけさはものをこそ思え

I do not even know how long your feelings will last. My long black hair is all disheveled and, this morning, my thoughts too are in a tangle!

Poem 80 of the Hyakunin Isshu, translation by Joshua Mostow

Second, it reiterates that the Five Hindrances really do get in the way of clear thinking, and prevent one from being level-headed and in control. This leads to further harmful actions, incurring further “debt”, etc. So, it helps to know what the Five Hindrances are, and to observe them in your own life, and to know how best to counteract them.

Easier said than done, but every time you counteract ill-will, or laziness, you’ve lightened the burden in your own self-made purgatory.

Namu Shakamuni Butsu

P.S. Featured photo taken at Ryoanji temple in 2023.

Four Months Practicing Zen

I intentionally left this post in my blog draft folder for months, but now I am ready to post.

After a small revelation back in early May, I wanted to give it time and ensure that this change in Buddhist path wasn’t a spur of the moment decision.

After that little experience in May, I realized that I had misunderstood Zen Buddhism. Some of this is due to mixed experiences at local (Western) Zen communities,1 and in my opinion, systemic issues with Buddhist publications in English.3 Once I had better access to Japanese-language resources, and based on things I had sort of rediscovered, I decided to try to and go heads down for a few months and do my best to practice Zen as a lay person and parent.

My daily reminder list on my smartphone. A mix of mundane and Buddhist practice. 坐禅 means “zazen” and お勤め means “otsutome” (home service).

It took a lot of trial and error to get this right. At first, I had a tendency to succumb to self-doubt and start doing zazen meditation longer and longer, but then I would burn out, or have a busy day and skip. So, eventually I forced myself to keep it to five minutes, and I found I was able to sustain the practice more. Also, if I missee a day somehow, I would not punish myself over it.

Second, I struggled with how to do a Zen-style home service, so I had to do some research and this led to posts like this and this (these are for my own benefit as much to readers 😏 ). This home service underwent a few updates and changes over time, but I gradually settled on things over time, thanks to an old service I forgot I had.

Finally, I wanted to ensure I focused on Buddhist conduct as a foundational practice, and in particularly by upholding the Ten Bodhisattva Precepts. It’s also emphasized by such past Zen monks as a foundation for other aspects of Zen, but compared to the basic Five Precepts, I found myself struggling both to remember what the Ten Precepts were, and also remembering to avoid things like not bring up the past faults of others, or harboring ill-will towards others. This is still a work in progress, but I assumed it would be. It took me many years of following the Five Precepts before it became second-nature.

Anyhow, since I started this little project four months ago, I am happy to say that I have mostly stuck with it. I can count the days I missed practice on my two hands, which over four months is pretty good. I realized that small, realistic, daily practice is much more effective than trying to focus on big retreats. So, in a sense, it’s been a big win and a learning lesson for myself.

But also I realized that I also really missed some aspects of the Pure Land practice that I had been doing up until this point. For me, I found that Pure Land Buddhism tends to appeal to the heart, while Zen appeals to the mind.

Dr. Janet Wallace: “The heart is not a logical organ.”

Star Trek, “The Deadly Years” (s2ep12), stardate 3479.4

So, my practice has continued to evolve to mostly Rinzai-Zen style practice, but also with a few Pure Land elements too. I suppose this is more inline with mainland Chinese Buddhism where such distinctions are less important than Japanese Buddhism, which tends to be sectarian. Also, if it works for Obaku Zen, it works for me.

So, that’s my update. Am I Zen Buddhist now? I don’t know. I am hesitant to use that label because I am hesitant to associate myself with that community. On the other hand, I’ve found it very beneficial so far, but I haven’t forgotten what I learned from Pure Land Buddhism either. So, I guess I am both, neither, whatever. At this point, taking inspiration from Chinese Buddhism: I uphold the precepts, meditate a bit each day, dedicate merit to loved ones and those suffering in the world, praise Amida Buddha, Shakyamuni Buddha, Kannon and the Lotus Sutra. Whatever label fits that is what I am these days. 🤷🏼‍♂️

Frankly, I stopped caring. I like how my practice has evolved these past months, and happy to continue.

Namu Shakamuni Butsu
Namu Amida Butsu
Namu Kanzeon Bosatsu

P.S. Posting a little off-schedule, but oh well. Enjoy!

1 Not all experiences have been negative, but I have run into more than a few “Bushido Bros” and Japan nerds2 that soured my experience.

2 Yes, I am a Japan nerd too. I fully admit this, but nerds can be kind of intense and exhausting to talk to, so I don’t like to hang out too much with other Japan nerds.

3 It’s hard to quantify, but English books about Buddhism are either very dry, bland, and scholarly, or read like psychology self-help books, or just too mystical. When I read books in Japanese on similar subjects, I find them more down-to-earth and engaging. I know different people have different preferences, but I don’t like most English publications I find at the local bookstore. It is also why I try to share information (or translate if necessary) whenever I find it.