SPOCK: On my planet, to rest is to rest — to cease using energy. To me, it is quite illogical to run up and down on green grass, using energy, instead of saving it.
Star Trek, “Shore Leave”, stardate 3025.2
Unlike my 2024 post, I intend to really take time off this time.
The truth is, is that I am deeply burned out. My wife and discussed this recently, and the chaos of preparing our firstborn for college, and our second-born ready for middle school, plus work demands have left us deeply exhausted. When we described it to one another, we quickly concluded that we were not depressed, just burned out. As parents, we had been running at full speed for almost two years, and now that things have quieted down, the fatigue finally caught up to us.
So, for the rest of 2025, I want to just sit around and do nothing: no personal projects, blogging, etc. I do plan to do some light reading (including some new books I picked up), play more soloThe One Ring RPG, watch more Star Trek,1 maybe finally finish painting some figurines that have sat half-completed for a year. I have one more blog post in the works, but otherwise, I’m taking some much needed personal downtime.
Just some of my unfinished painted figurines…
Thank you all for your understanding, and I wish you both a happy holidays and a wonderful new year!
1 I also recently picked up the Star Trek Adventures role-playing game from Modiphius as well, but I haven’t progressed very far in learning the game yet.
From the classic Star Trek episode, “Specter of the Gun” (s3:ep6), stardate 4385.3
Speaking of missed opportunities and the many rebirths of Buddhism, there’s another side to this discussion.
The Buddha really emphasized the importance of the life you live now. Yes, each sentient being lives a long endless stream of rebirths ad nauseum, but it’s not as if you just move to a new body, and pick up where you left off. Long story short, death is real, and not something to take lightly. Yes, your karma will propel another birth to take place, but this is a different person, and they have to start over to some degree.
I can’t really go into the theological questions,1 and I don’t know them very well myself, but in India there was much ink spilled over this distinction. For us 21st century readers, let me try to give an example.
Look at “Rogue-like” games such Hades, or Rogue Legacy 2. In such games, your character dies a lot, and each time you die, you have to start all the way from the beginning. Your character might inherit some rewards for past efforts (e.g. past lives), but this doesn’t doesn’t guarantee success, and your next run might be a total disaster and even set you back. In Rogue Legacy 2 in particular, each time you start over, you choose a new character, randomly generated from a few options.
So, each time you start over, you have to treat each life as something important and make the most of it. I think Buddhism works much the same way.
Namu Shakamuni Butsu
1 the crude summary is that in Hindu religion, the soul (atman) traverses from body to body. The Buddha taught anatman (“no soul”) instead. The Buddhist version implies cleaner “break” between lifetimes, but how it all works is beyond me.
Spock: Mr Scott, there was no deity involved. It was my cross-circuiting to B that recovered them.
McCoy: Then thank pitchforks and pointed ears.
Star Trek, “Obsession” (s2:ep13), stardate 3620.7
In the host of world religions, Buddhism occupies a strange place. In one sense, it is a world religion because it is followed by many different peoples, cultures, and languages throughout its 2,500 year history.
But unlike other world religions there is no central deity, no creator.
Hold on, you might be thinking, what about the Buddha?
The Buddha is the central figure of Buddhism. He is the teacher, but in the Buddhist tradition he was once a person, just like you and me, who through countless lifetimes as a bodhisattva fully accomplished the path and awakened to the Dharma: the principles of existence. He taught the Dharma to his disciples, and they became the first generation of the Sangha, the community.
Thus, these comprise the Three Treasures of Buddhism.
But why do people pray to the Buddha?
Because the Buddha and all other such figures in Buddhism are not passive. The Buddha taught the Dharma out of compassion and goodwill for all beings, and the countless Bodhisattvas such as Kannon guide any sentient beings who take up the Buddhist path. Amida Buddha provides a refuge for all beings who wish to be reborn there.
Kannon (観音) Bodhisattva in her more motherly form.
The underlying theme isn’t Enlightenment for Enlightenment’s sake. It is to help beings who suffer so that eventually they too may reach Buddhahood (a.k.a. Enlightenment).
One does not have to pray to the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. The most important thing is to put the Buddhist teachings into practice as one can. But in times of unease, uncertainty or crisis it’s perfectly fine to pray to a Buddha or Bodhisattva that you revere. I do it from time to time myself when I am worried about my kids, on plane flights, before surgery, etc.
But also, in the end, I am responsible for my choices, my words, and my thoughts.
When you plant melon seeds you get melons, and when you plant beans you get beans. [Effect follows causes] like a shadow follows a physical shape, like an echo responds to a sound. Nothing is sown in vain. This is called “believing in the result”.
Ou-yi’s Mind Seal of the Buddhas, translation by J. C. Clearly
I alone bear the fruits of my choices, words and thoughts.
From Star Trek episode “Spectre of the Gun” (s3:ep6)
One Zen anecdote that I remember from my youth, was a story where a student declared to his master “all is illusion”. The master, listening to this whacked the student on the head (or pinched his nose, I forget) and said “was that an illusion?”.
I always liked this anecdote, but didn’t really appreciate until I got older and had more field-experience with Buddhism.
There’s a tendency to view Buddhism as a way to transcend one’s problems. People like to meditate in Buddhism, or do chanting, because they think it will “chill them out” or go into “Zen mode” as a way of facing life’s problems. Once you’re blissed out and calm, you’ll not be bothered by problems anymore, and all will be well. Right?
Sooner or later, you have to come down and still deal with problems in life: work, food, jerks, illness, boredom, bills, political crises, economic hardships, debt, injustice, broken cars, crying kids, angry spouses, dogs with “intestinal issues”, getting older, loneliness, house chores, the inevitable death of everyone you know, back problems, and so on. The list goes on and on. It does not go away, no matter how much you want it to.
Once you come to grips with this, which also happens to be the First Noble Truth of Buddhism, then the rest starts to fall into place. Until then, no chanting, meditation, prayer, seminars, self-help exercises, fancy gurus, or books will do any good. Not because you’re stupid, or unworthy, or not disciplined enough; it’s because you can’t put the cart before the horse. 🛒🐴
One of the most iconic episodes of the original Star Trek series is the episode “City on the Edge of Forever” (season 1, episode 28), where Kirk and Spock have to travel back in time through the Guardian of Forever, in order to correct a change in the timeline that drastically affects their future. The climatic ending involves a tragic moment where Kirk has to let someone they love die in order to correct the timeline.
During my last watch-through of this episode with the Saturday Night Star Trek team, I started thinking about the time-travel implications of this episode. If you haven’t seen the episode, please stop here and watch the episode (or save this post for another time). I think this episode is even trippier than you night believe at first.
Warning: spoilers.
Canonical Story
Edith Keeler (played by Joan Collins), and James Kirk (played by William Shatner)
This episode treats time travel in the following order:
McCoy (deluded by overdose of medication) travels back in time to 1930’s and somehow saves Edith Keeler.
Edith Keeler’s existence helps trigger a pacifist movement that delays US entry into World War II (Spock: “the right idea, but the wrong time”) leading to catastrophic consequences. The alternate (correct) history is that she dies in a car accident.
Kirk and McCoy travel back in time to stop this.
Kirk saves Edith Keeler from a fall down the stairs that might have killed her.
After being admonished by Spock, Kirk chooses not to save Edith Keeler when she is struck by a car, ending her life. This restores the timeline to the way it was.
Kirk, Spock, and McCoy return to the 23rd century, all is well (minus Kirk’s poor heart).
This is the canonical story.
My Fan Theory: Kirk is the Source of the Timeline not Restorer
My personal theory is that James Kirk didn’t restore the timeline as such; he caused it. The future we see now in Star Trek universe was a direct result of, not saved by, James T Kirk.
If you think about it for a moment, the canonical history is that Edith Keeler dies by a car accident before the start of World War II, but in the story, the reason why she gets into a car accident in the first place is because she crosses the street to see Jim Kirk. If both Jim and McCoy hadn’t travelled back, would Edith Keller still die by a car accident?
This is where causality in time travel gets weird. Assuming Jim Kirk is the cause of the canonical timeline, then presumably he was predestined at some point to find the Guardian of Forever, go back in time, interact with Edith Keeler in such a way that she dies by car accident.
The implication is that Jim Kirk was always going to travel back in time at the set date (barring further time travel shenanigans), which implies predestiny.
But what if Kirk and the Enterprise somehow never found the Guardian of Forever? Then Edith’s particular death shouldn’t happen, causing a paradox.
Or, if as Spock implies, time flows like river with “currents and eddies” and thus Edith Keeler would have still died by a traffic accident, but not this particular one, thus the timeline stays more or less unchanged.
Which one is true? Who knows.
The Weight of the Decision
The other aspect of this episode is that the timeline of Earth drastically changes due to the death (or life) of Edith Keeler. This means that following these events in the 1930’s countless people are drastically affected. Depending on the timeline, Person A might be killed in WWII, or they might live. If they live, Person A might have kids that otherwise might not exist.
Thus when Kirk restores (or causes) the timeline, his action causes the life or death of countless humans he will never know about. Similarly, McCoy’s initial interference.
So, regardless of which timeline is correct, Kirk and/or McCoy will be responsible for the countless deaths and lives that come after. A weighty decision indeed.
Another Timeline Change: Death by Phaser
Another aspect that’s often missed is McCoy’s first arrival in the 1930’s. He is robbed by a local homeless guy (the same guy who makes lewd comments about Edith Keeler earlier in the episode), who takes his hand-phaser and accidentally vaporizes himself. This seems to prevent any Federation technology from leaking back to the past (good), but the death of the homeless guy may have additional timeline consequences that we don’t know about, and never see the results of.
Granted, as Spock said in his “currents and eddies” comment, the timeline may resist change, and so the death of the man may not change all that much. But it’s also possible that his absence triggers events that the subtly alter the future in ways we don’t know about, even if they are not as dramatic as Edith Keeler’s.
So, when the Enterprise crew return to the ship, I wonder if they noticed any subtle oddities…
Conclusion
Time travel is weird, and the causality of time travel is even weirder. Since no one has actually travelled in time (as far as we know), the implications of changing the past are entirely theoretical, but it’s fun to imagine.
And, not surprisingly, “City on the Edge of Forever” remains one of the most iconic episodes in Star Trek. 🖖🏼
P.S. The Star Trek novel Yesterday’s Son by A.C. Crispin explores the Guardian of Time, and a certain other Star Trek episode involving Spock and a woman, and the implications of both. Quite a fun read if you find it.
P.P.S. An accidental double-post today. I made a scheduling error. 😅
M’BENGA: Prejudice has kept people from helping each other for centuries with no scientific justification. And after we met our neighbours in the galaxy, we found new bigotries….In any case, they’re meaningless to me. I am a physician.
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, “Ghost of Illyria” (s1ep3), Stardate 1224.3
Prejudice is something far more insidious than simple racism, and something we all face on some level. We discriminate based on all kinds of criteria: race, ethnicity, religion, gender, politics, sports teams, departments at work, etc. If someone is somehow different, we are inclined to see them as an outsider. It’s subtle and tough to resist without conscious effort.
My personal belief is that prejudice is born from some kind primitive instinct of self-preservation, by making discerning choices with only limited information. Sometimes this might keep us alive, other times, it causes hostility and animosity.
But I am not the only one who seems to think this way…
But I digress.
In the famous Star Trek episode “Arena”, Kirk is compelled to fight a Gorn to the death in single combat:
The episode emphasizes how repulsive and cruel the reptilian Gorn are, and yet at the end when Kirk finally defeats the Gorn, he spares its life. This earns him the respect of the Metrons, the highly-advanced aliens who instigated the duel.
METRON: By sparing your helpless enemy who surely would have destroyed you, you demonstrated the advanced trait of mercy, something we hardly expected…. There is hope for you. Perhaps in several thousand years, your people and mine shall meet to reach an agreement. You are still half savage, but there is hope. We will contact you when we are ready.
Star Trek, “Arena” (s1ep18), Stardate 3045.6
The Metrons knew that violence and hatred were primitive and hardly distinguish a species, but mercy and goodwill do. It requires thought and mental discipline to override one’s basic instincts, but it is almost always the right choice.
Namu Shakamuni Butsu
P.S. The Gorn play a much more prominent role in Strange New Worlds than original Star Trek … with mixed results.
MCCOY: What he’s saying, Spock, is that a man who holds that much power, even with the best intentions, just can’t resist the urge to play God.
Star Trek, “Patterns of Force” (s2ep21), Stardate 2534.0
Since the beginning of time, powerful men have risen and then fallen. Doesn’t matter which culture, or which time period, sooner or later someone wants to be the Alpha, King of Kings, Pharoah, Shogun, President for Life, etc etc. It happens over and over again, and more often than not they self-destruct or their legacy crumbles after their death.
Take the case of Marcus Licinius Crassus, better known in history as simply “Crassus”. Crassus was absurdly rich. His wealth, and the political influence he bought with it, would make many hotshot-CEO’s today look like chumps.
We can look at examples and think to ourselves “what fools!”, but I think an even bigger lesson from this is that it can happen to any of us given the right circumstances. When we have power and authority, it is almost inevitable that we start to play god. In the Star Trek episode “Patterns of Force”, a historian tampered with an alien planet and (inadvertently) turned them into space Nazis.
The Ring of Power from J.R.R, Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings series illustrates this. Any person who gets a hold of the Ring, whether they be wizards, kings or elf-lords or even just hobbits, inevitably become corrupted.
Even Galadriel, one of the last of the mighty Noldor Elves on Middle-Earth and among the wisest of the elf-lords, was briefly tempted when Frodo offered her the ring, asking him if he wanted her to be a queen “terrible and fair”. Yet unlike her kin, she was able to resist and avoided a more terrible fate.
I feel I would be tempted too. This week I am filling in for my boss who’s on vacation, and even with this small dose of authority, I feel tempted to throw my weight around. How much more so if I was a world leader.
Why are we prone to this behavior?
I suspect it’s simply ego: our desire to mold the world in our own image. Even if we believe we are doing the right thing for others, our own ego blinds us to realities on the ground. If I had such power, I would probably fall into the same trap. People with strong egos are even more blind because they want so badly to project themselves onto the world while choosing to ignore the suffering it causes.
Of course someone has to be in charge. There has to be some form of authority for societies (or offices) to function. But it has to be treated as a radioactive, hot potato: something to be handled very carefully.
Anyhow, rambling thoughts here from the “Ozymandius” of my workplace.
Something fun to end this post though (direct link).
SPOCK: If there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live in them.
Star Trek, “This Side of Paradise”, stardate 3417.7
The Five Hindrances in Buddhism was something I briefly touched on in the past, and something I think about from time to time, but then I ran into this neat excerpt by the Chinese Tiantai (Tendai) founder, Zhi-yi:
The practitioner is like a person who has gained freedom from a debt or one who has been cured of a serious disease, like a starving man arriving in a prosperous country, or like one who has been rescued safe and unharmed from a band of villains. When he eliminates these five hindrances, his mind becomes calm and secure and he feels clear, cool, and blissful.
Just as with the sun and moon which may be obscured and prevented from shining brightly by the five phenomena of smoke, dust, clouds, fog and the hand of the asura known as Rāhu, so it is as well with the human mind and the five “covering” hindrances.
The Essentials for Practicing Calming-and-Insight & Dhyana Meditation by Zhiyi, translated by Kalavinka Press, page 75
I really like this quote for a few reasons.
First the benefits of self-discipline, and personal conduct are like getting out of debt. By not committing harmful actions towards others (and by extension yourself), you are no incurring further debt. Because you are no longer incurring debt any existing “karmic debt” run its course, your personal purgatory that much shorter. It bring a kind of freedom, even if it seems counterintuitive.
長からむん心も知らず黒髪の乱れてけさはものをこそ思え
I do not even know how long your feelings will last. My long black hair is all disheveled and, this morning, my thoughts too are in a tangle!
Second, it reiterates that the Five Hindrances really do get in the way of clear thinking, and prevent one from being level-headed and in control. This leads to further harmful actions, incurring further “debt”, etc. So, it helps to know what the Five Hindrances are, and to observe them in your own life, and to know how best to counteract them.
Easier said than done, but every time you counteract ill-will, or laziness, you’ve lightened the burden in your own self-made purgatory.
Namu Shakamuni Butsu
P.S. Featured photo taken at Ryoanji temple in 2023.
I intentionally left this post in my blog draft folder for months, but now I am ready to post.
After a small revelation back in early May, I wanted to give it time and ensure that this change in Buddhist path wasn’t a spur of the moment decision.
After that little experience in May, I realized that I had misunderstood Zen Buddhism. Some of this is due to mixed experiences at local (Western) Zen communities,1 and in my opinion, systemic issues with Buddhist publications in English.3 Once I had better access to Japanese-language resources, and based on things I had sort of rediscovered, I decided to try to and go heads down for a few months and do my best to practice Zen as a lay person and parent.
My daily reminder list on my smartphone. A mix of mundane and Buddhist practice. 坐禅 means “zazen” and お勤め means “otsutome” (home service).
It took a lot of trial and error to get this right. At first, I had a tendency to succumb to self-doubt and start doing zazen meditation longer and longer, but then I would burn out, or have a busy day and skip. So, eventually I forced myself to keep it to five minutes, and I found I was able to sustain the practice more. Also, if I missee a day somehow, I would not punish myself over it.
Second, I struggled with how to do a Zen-style home service, so I had to do some research and this led to posts like this and this (these are for my own benefit as much to readers 😏 ). This home service underwent a few updates and changes over time, but I gradually settled on things over time, thanks to an old service I forgot I had.
Finally, I wanted to ensure I focused on Buddhist conduct as a foundational practice, and in particularly by upholding the Ten Bodhisattva Precepts. It’s also emphasized by such pastZenmonks as a foundation for other aspects of Zen, but compared to the basic Five Precepts, I found myself struggling both to remember what the Ten Precepts were, and also remembering to avoid things like not bring up the past faults of others, or harboring ill-will towards others. This is still a work in progress, but I assumed it would be. It took me many years of following the Five Precepts before it became second-nature.
Anyhow, since I started this little project four months ago, I am happy to say that I have mostly stuck with it. I can count the days I missed practice on my two hands, which over four months is pretty good. I realized that small, realistic, daily practice is much more effective than trying to focus on big retreats. So, in a sense, it’s been a big win and a learning lesson for myself.
But also I realized that I also really missed some aspects of the Pure Land practice that I had been doing up until this point. For me, I found that Pure Land Buddhism tends to appeal to the heart, while Zen appeals to the mind.
Dr. Janet Wallace: “The heart is not a logical organ.”
Star Trek, “The Deadly Years” (s2ep12), stardate 3479.4
So, my practice has continued to evolve to mostly Rinzai-Zen style practice, but also with a few Pure Land elements too. I suppose this is more inline with mainland Chinese Buddhism where such distinctions are less important than Japanese Buddhism, which tends to be sectarian. Also, if it works for Obaku Zen, it works for me.
So, that’s my update. Am I Zen Buddhist now? I don’t know. I am hesitant to use that label because I am hesitant to associate myself with that community. On the other hand, I’ve found it very beneficial so far, but I haven’t forgotten what I learned from Pure Land Buddhism either. So, I guess I am both, neither, whatever. At this point, taking inspiration from Chinese Buddhism: I uphold the precepts, meditate a bit each day, dedicate merit to loved ones and those suffering in the world, praise Amida Buddha, Shakyamuni Buddha, Kannon and the Lotus Sutra. Whatever label fits that is what I am these days. 🤷🏼♂️
Frankly, I stopped caring. I like how my practice has evolved these past months, and happy to continue.
P.S. Posting a little off-schedule, but oh well. Enjoy!
1 Not all experiences have been negative, but I have run into more than a few “Bushido Bros” and Japan nerds2 that soured my experience.
2 Yes, I am a Japan nerd too. I fully admit this, but nerds can be kind of intense and exhausting to talk to, so I don’t like to hang out too much with other Japan nerds.
3 It’s hard to quantify, but English books about Buddhism are either very dry, bland, and scholarly, or read like psychology self-help books, or just too mystical. When I read books in Japanese on similar subjects, I find them more down-to-earth and engaging. I know different people have different preferences, but I don’t like most English publications I find at the local bookstore. It is also why I try to share information (or translate if necessary) whenever I find it.
SPOCK: There are many who are uncomfortable with what we have created. It is almost a biological rebellion. A profound revulsion against the planned communities, the programming, the sterilised, artfully balanced atmospheres. They hunger for an Eden where spring comes.
Star Trek, “The Way to Eden” (s3e20), Stardate 5832.3
世の中よ道こそなけれ思ひ入る山の奥にも鹿ぞ鳴くなる。
Within this world there is, indeed, no path! Even deep in this mountains I have entered, heart set, I seem to hear the deer cry!
Recently, I came back from a camping trip, the last for our family before my daughter goes off to college. It was both good and bad. We stayed at Moran State Park on Orcas Island, Washington. I had been to Orcas Island a number of times over the years, but I had never really stayed there for personal reasons, so it was nice to explore at leisure for a change.
Cascade Lake near our campsite, which was very pristine and peaceful in the mornings. Our dog, Cherry, liked exploring here. The so-called “Indian Island” in Eastsound bay. This area was once a village belonging to a Salish people called the Lummi (official homepage), who grew camassia crops on that islet. A combination of disease from Westerners and raids by northern Salish tribes drove them to the mainland. That lone pine tree feels like a momument to the Lummi to me…A view from Mount Constitution, the highest peak on Orcas Island, facing eastward towards Washington State. I visited here many years ago as a kid on a school camping trip, but don’t remember much.
I posted the Star Trek quote above, not just because it sounds cool, but it does explore a side of us all: yearning for the simple country life. We all feel that revulsion toward modern life, and want to escape, yet even just after a couple days of camping in the woods, the smell of body-odor, noise from neighboring campers,1 and lack of food variety, Internet access, and electricity made us really eager to go back home. Even with modern amenities like gas stoves, freezer coolers and ready-made food (including instant ramen), it quickly gets old.
It wasn’t just me either. There was a lone woman camping just next to us. She brought her dog, and a stack of books to read, and seemed like an experienced camper, but it was clear that she wasn’t finding the solace she sought, and spent most of her time away from campsite to (presumably) find a quieter spot.
The fabled Eden sounds nice, but such a bucolic past probably never existed. Pre-modern life was in reality hard, exhausting, and safety was not always guaranteed.
Yet, modern life has its own challenges and dangers too. We might not die from dysentery anymore, but we often suffer obesity, isolation, and constant anxiety. We might not starve like our ancestors did, but we also eat some egregiously bad food thanks to mass-production and chemicals (including microplastics). Similarly, our fellow Man has replaced natural predators as the threat to our lives.
I don’t want to downplay the benefits of modern life, though.
The average2 lifespan of a human being in the 21st century is significantly longer than before. My little incident a couple years ago likely would have killed me before modern medicine. Dying in one’s forties was not uncommon in the pre-modern era. But the dangers of modern life are still there but now more subtle, yet catch up to us eventually.
In short, life is a struggle, no matter how long we live. Getting to old age without suffering any major health issues is something to be grateful for, but even more important is how you choose to live your life up to that point. As the Zen aphorism goes: every day is (sort of) a good day, so enjoy the moment, and try to live with some element of dignity and free of regrets.
Namu Shakamuni Butsu
1 There was a very rude family camped next to us. The mom kept yelling and swearing at her two toddler children, who in turn were constantly crying and talking back … at 4am in the morning. Ironically, the lady had a “Live Laugh Love” bumper sticker on her car.
2 The keyword here is “average”. A person in pre-modern times some people did live to their 80’s or 90’s, but the odds were against them. A single scratch leading to an infection, or a crippling injury, or a genetic precondition that we can treat now would often kill a younger person. So, if you did manage to live to a ripe old age, it was indeed a cause for celebration.
Gleanings in Buddha-Fields 
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