Since I started playing Fire Emblem: Three Houses, I have been continuously impressed with how well-written and relatable the cast of characters is. But there’s more to it.

Early in the story, when you first meet the other characters and students, many come off as quirky, annoying or just mean. However, as you progress in the game and get to know them through dialogues (e.g. “supports”), you learn more about why they are the way they are. Why is Dorothea such a good-digger? Why is Felix such a jerk? Why is Marianne so gloomy, Lysithea a workaholic, Sylvain a womanizer, and so on.

What you learn over time is that many of these characters, even the more stable ones, have some kind of personal trauma or persistent fear that’s driving their lives. Some characters have more crippling mental health issues, while some just hide their pain better than others.

After playing through a game like this, it’s not hard to see that many people around you are almost certainly suffering from some past traumas or persistent mental health problems. The degree or nature of that problem is different for each person, and some people hide it better than others, but I bet if you scratch the surface you will see it.

Of course, this applies to ourselves too. Past traumas, emotional pain and lingering, persistent mental habits color our behavior on a daily basis.

I grew up as the eldest son of a single mom in a conservative community in the 1980’s, and experienced plenty of bullying and ostracism as a result, while trying to grow up fast and help the family.¹ I have no doubt this colors my behavior today. Seeing my grandmother dead from cancer at age 57 on the hospital bed two days after Thanksgiving in 1990 still comes back to me every November.

But there’s more to this.

As the game progresses, and through increased interaction, many of the characters open up about their pain and trauma to others and from this they find kindred spirits, or they gain new perspectives. It doesn’t erase the past, but oftentimes it helps them find closure, or get the support they needed.

In Buddhism, we revere the Sangha (the community) as one of the three treasures, along with the Buddha (teacher) and the Dharma (the teachings). The Sangha is essential in Buddhism because people can’t do it alone. The Buddha recognized from the beginning that people need one another, and can support one another.

Even when the Sangha has its fair share of dickheads and scallywags, the mutual support people offer one another is part of the therapy that Buddhism offers. This isn’t limited to Buddhism, by the way; one can find solace in any religious community. My other grandmother was a devout Lutheran and would go to her local church every Sunday for many years.

It’s just that Buddhism overtly recognizes that everyone suffers from mental health problems on some level, which are given fancy terms like kleshas in Sanskrit, or bonnō in Japanese, but also that there aren’t easy solutions. It’s a long slow process, and it requires a mutual support network.

It’s scary to share one’s pain with others, or even with yourself,² but it can really take a heavy load off you, and help provide new perspectives. You don’t have to force it either. As you spend time with others, people naturally start to open up over time. There’s no magic here, it’s just simply that people need one another, and this is how we find peace and wellbeing.

Namu Amida Butsu

¹ a little bit like Jonathan Byers in Stranger Things, minus all the weird extra-dimensional stuff. Maybe. 😋

² sometimes a personal journal or an anonymous blog can really work wonders.