Bad Bosses

Usually I don’t like to talk about my personal life, especially work,¹ but this past week or two has been pretty rough. I’ve been working with another team on a project, and I found out recently that the manager of that project was unhappy with me, and complained to my own manager. Further, the same manager made an under-handed comment during a meeting yesterday, almost certainly aimed at me, rubbing salt on the wound.

My own manager has done his best to be supportive, but I can’t lie, getting criticized really stings, especially given all I’ve done for that team in the past.

In the last 24 hours, I went through a range of emotions: rage, revenge, quitting the job entirely, then despair because I need the job, etc. The fact is is that a steady, secure income is hard to come by these days, and as the sole bread-winner of a family, I have to be extra mindful of where I go, and sometimes have to just “suck it up” to provide for my family. I am certain I am not the only person who is in this bind, either. Each time we get up and head to work, we are forced to “sing for our bread” whether we want to or not. Capitalism sucks.

Even a Buddhist text near and dear to my heart, the Larger Sutra of Immeasurable Life² (link and link), composed more than 2,000 years ago, touches on this:

But in this world [as opposed to the Pure Land of the Buddha] much evil is committed, and few are provided for naturally; people must work hard to get what they want. Since they intend to deceive each other, their minds are troubled, their bodies exhausted, and they drink bitterness and eat hardship.

Translation by Rev. Hisao Inagaki

So, yeah, as Office Space rightly said: work sucks, and yet we have to put up with it to survive.³

But the sting to my pride, coupled with the fact that I have to suck it up and continue to work with this person for the forseeable future makes me feel rotten. I do it for the sake of my kids and wife, but it still makes me feel rotten inside.

So, I started thinking about things like the Eight Winds of Buddhism, and the story of Hakuin the 18th century Zen master in Japan who was unfairly blamed for something but shrugged it off anyway, or the story of the tsunami and the Zen master. In each case, the lesson is to not get hung up on one’s reputation, and gain freedom in the process. This makes sense, but is a lot harder to implement in practice.

I suppose in a more Pure Land Buddhist, less Zen Buddhist context, the goodwill of Amida Buddha extends to all beings equally regardless of their character. Even if the world finds fault in you, Amida Buddha extends his goodwill nonetheless. The Eight Winds may blow this way and that, but it doesn’t matter. No need to get hung up on perfection, or criticizing yourself. In the end, you will be fine.

Namu Amida Butsu

P.S. Another thing I forgot to mention is that regardless of Buddhist sect or practice, it never hurts to stop and contemplate goodwill in Buddhism. You don’t have to like the other person, but you can extend a sense of goodwill toward them.

P.P.S. The oppressiveness of the working class isn’t necessarily limited to modern capitalist societies. Back in the Hellenistic Period of history, the Ptolemaic dynasty in Egypt was known for their oppressive bureacracy too:

¹ Folks might be surprised where I currently work, but it’s definitely unrelated to my blog in every respect. Plus, it’s generally best not to mix the two.

² This sutra is also known by various other names: the Larger Sutra, the Immeasurable Life Sutra, the Longer Sukhāvatīvyūha Sūtra, and so on. More on the Pure Land Buddhist canon here.

³ There are limits though. If someone is subject to harassment, intimidation or discrimination, that’s when the environment is simply too toxic. No amount of patience can fix that. It will erode one’s mental health. If you are in this situation, please do not think “sucking it up” will make it better. Sometimes a change in environment is the best thing you can do for yourself. At the very least, talk to someone you trust, preferably outside of work.